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Sly Boy

[ website | Circus Mind ]
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HUH?! ya'll eat peices of shit!?!? [12 Oct 2005|09:44pm]
[ mood | apathetic ]

um um um so life is real lame hardcordy core core? cause i said so. i was on the bus and i was all like "fuck, i still hate me." dag, yo.

and Criss is lame. because i like him. like too much. wtfsicles?? i want it to stop. plus he's leaving in like t minus +1 month? BULL SHIT.

it's weird seeing BH and just not caring. i don't even know anymore.

lately everything's just been... there. i'm just... here. i hate this feeling. i keep picking up a pen to draw something but nothing comes out right.

reported card:::social-b+(88), art-a, gym-a+(why?) & cisco-b+(89). my gym teacher said i'm "cooperative" heh? yeah ok. probably because i ain't fought her like the ghetto chicks and i always change unlike katie(<-- that her name?).

ps: happy birthday to Matt!!!!! (and happy Yom Kuppur to everyone else.)

2 | kamikazes won't freeze

he takes off her dress, now let me go [10 Oct 2005|04:03pm]
[ mood | bitchy ]

sadly all i've gotten is lightly negative/neutral feedback and it makes me wonder if it really looks horrible and my irl friends are just trying to be nice?

started with big ole fadey red hair:
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not very appealing.shake that thing miss AnnabellaCollapse )

so is it like horrendous and i'm not seeing it? and no lying or i'll have to kick you ass.

6 | kamikazes won't freeze

SMACK MY BITCH UP!!! [10 Oct 2005|03:09pm]
[ mood | confused ]

Rei: whatsa matter?
Rei:-inconsistent pestering goes here-
Rei:What don't you trust me?
Criss: No, i do... i just don't feel like talking about it...

:( i wish he would talk to me. i worry about him. he hasn't slept in a long time because his grandpa's been in the hospital from a heart attack. and he's leaving in about one month. :((( wtf? not to mention. Me "dontcha wish your girl friend was hott like meeeeee?" Him "Yeah. I do.-fake/forced laugh-" -hits head on desk repeatedly- wtfwtfwtfwtfmobile!?! i like him too much. =/

besides that today was pretty good. except no one liked my hair. =/ except Dan. they all said they liked Red better ((including Criss)). now i feel all shitty about it. even though i shouldn't. FUCK.

plus then Brian wasn't at school and i was happy and like 2 seconds before i step on the bus there he is. (he skipped i guess.) and then seeing him bothered me. and then the fact that he is still able to bother me made me really mad and upset and angsty angst angstful.

But Ehmo McTp (or Sceney McGriddlepants as Ari likes to call him) is still fookin' hawt. ^_____^

and then Criss totally admitted he likes guys too.(<-- it's a secret. ;] so everyone hush hush. which means kristen because you're the only irl person that reads this shit.) and i died. because i was sooooo dead ass right on that. :DDDD hehe. probably post my hair later todayish.
4 | kamikazes won't freeze

so weak and so unworthy, it simply will not do [07 Oct 2005|03:38pm]
[ mood | happy ]

-points to mood thing- zOMG! HAPPY! LOLZWTF?!?

so today wasa prep rally. me and Tim and Criss sat amongst the seinors. the sexiest boy in the school that i like to call Ehmo McTightpants and his friends had a banner that said "our game is tight unlike BECA girls" i lol'd.

and while the 3000 of us kids shuffled out thru 4 sets of doors Ehmo was pretty much touching me. i was just kind of like yeah thanks for molesting my arm? if you were ugly i'd probably kick you. i = shallow. lmao.

and BH's thingface is like seinor president apparently. and the new principle made her do the spell out l-i-b-e-r-t-y thing. me and Tim screamed about unprotected anal sex.

and i almost feel bad for touching Criss all the time when he has a girlfriend. but not really. i let him borrow my hoodie for 2 days and i got it back and it smells soooo good. like... so good.

ps: "If You Like Me Check Yes, If You Don't I'll Die" is probably the best song title ever. that or "Jesus Dropkick Me Through the Goal Posts of Life"

kamikazes won't freeze

remember the old arcade? blew every dollar we ever made... [02 Oct 2005|06:54pm]
[ mood | nostalgic ]

because... because well... i haven't taken a picture of myself in like forever and because i need a pat on the back for my good job picking out "normal" clothes. :D

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slutty sweater thing i'm probably supposed to wear a shirt under.

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cherries! eee! it's comfy.

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me being a queer bag plus new shirt&pants

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me and my stuffed anigamals. ^-^

and i didn't cut cause there's only four and because i'm a bad friend. :3

stupid frickin' nickelback. blergh. sooooo bad. but yet it's soooo good! -writhes in agony on the ground- i have a fear of getting old and missing the "good times". it's scary. maybe that's why i don't like going out too much? and probably why i'll die before i turn 30 :P
14 | kamikazes won't freeze

if you want to take a chance. seductions in a glance taking you to another place [01 Oct 2005|09:26pm]
[ mood | discontent ]

"Smallish sects of beings, of which Faery is certainly one, require enemies to give them purpose. Think of Milton's Angels. Was not his God wise in giving them a devil to fight?"

so obviously i bought the most amazing book in the world today. Tithe by Holly Black. it was so fucking good. but probably only because that's how've i've always dreamt my life to be. and how about Roiben is the most gorgeous book character everrr?! and i totally imagined Corny looking like Bruce the whole time. because he's so Bruce-ish.

"Yeah, the whole family knows. It's no big deal. One night at dinner i said, 'Mom, you know the forbidden love that Spock has for for Kirk? Well, me too.' It was easier for her to understand that way." He sounded like he was daring Kaye to say something. "I hope you're not expecting some sort of reaction," Kaye said finally. "Because the only thing that i can think of is that that is the weirdest coming-out story i have ever heard."

got some weird ass clothes today? feh. made meh mum exstatic though. white cords, brown cords, purple sweater, black cami(it has sequins!!), and a thermal with little cherries on it. haha wtf? i just see it as one step closer to pink hair. yay :3 i'm so x ci ted.

me n Spike saw Corpse Bride. it was so *not* worth 8 dollars. AND WTF WAS UP WITH HER TURNING INTO BUTTERFLIES AT THE END?!!? (spoiler alert. wee woo wee woo!) but it was hella tight seeing Areeh. i love that shitface. <3

"Horror and doubt distract his troubled thoughts and from the bottom stir the Hell within him, for within him Hell he brings, and round about him, nor from Hell one step more than from himself can fly by change of place."

6 | kamikazes won't freeze

which man would rip his face off and feed it to the dogs? [30 Sep 2005|03:36pm]
[ mood | mellow ]

the more often i update this shit the more my life slips away. lolz.

so the kid didn't show today. i miss my Gabriel Hubert Cumberdale. =[

and so my grandmother's over becaue i'm not old enough to watch my 6 year old sister? she has the only way of annoying me. she'll just be like, 'Hi Rachel' and i'll be all 'OMFG YOU'RE RUINING MY LIFE!' only in my head. and then i go cry and use my tears to paint a water colour painting of my teenage angst.

speaking of which in art today i painted a picture of like the moon with a rainbow coming out of it and all these stars and the sky. i'm pretty sure a 9 year old could have done better. but it made me laugh because about a month ago i would never paint such nonsense. so i'm like.... happy now? or at least not depressed. i haven't been like this in a long time. cause i remember the last time... -sigh-

AND OMGZ CRISS IS A FUCKING BAG OF DOUCHE!1!!11!1 he's leaving me next semester. WTF. he's going to LVP-GAYLAND. ((yeah i totally made that one up by myself. haha.)) fucking a i don't want him to go =[

some kid on a motorcycle did the "i'm gonna shoot you" motion to me when i was on the bus today. freak. and um how about bh was wearing a polo shirt? a *white* polo shirt. shit, son. he must really like her or something. good for him. and what's weird is that i mean that. psht.

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OMGZLAWLZ! THEI SAYZ ANGELZ DUN KEEEEL!!1!111!111 [29 Sep 2005|08:28pm]
[ mood | productive ]

new layout. I MADE EEEEEEEEEEET!!!


pretty bird, pretty bird. -drools- yeah, uhm kay then. haha, i like how it looks like T Bag is looking at Johnny all longingly. XD &also some quotes i just need to save :

You tell me that nothing matters
You're just fucking scared
You tell me that I make no difference
At least I'm fucking trying
What the fuck have you done?
-Minor Threat

"Numbers have dehumanized us. Over breakfast coffee we read of 40,000 American dead in Vietnam. Instead of vomiting, we reach for the toast. Our morning rush through crowded streets is not to cry murder but to hit that trough before somebody else gobbles our share."
-Dalton Trumbo, author, Johnny Got His Gun

"You've got to be willing to die for something or you've lived for nothing."
- Biohazard, New York Hardcore

"Teenage angst has paid off well. Now I'm bored and old."
-Kurt Cobain, Serve The Servants

"What good fortune for those of us in power that people do not think."
-Adolf Hitler, mass murderer, politician

"No Hope=No Fear. Base not your joy upon the deeds of others, for what is given can also be taken away."
-Pete Steele, Type O Negative

"When you give food to the poor, they call you a saint. When you ask why the poor have no food, they call you a communist."
-Archbishop Helder Camara

"Insubordination may only be the evidence of a strong mind."

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when your faith in life is gone, come and speak to me [29 Sep 2005|03:47pm]
[ mood | weirded out ]

mmmm. today was fucking WEIIIRD.

ok so i text Spiike on the bus. get off the bus and walk over to trihawk Matt because no one else was there yet. look for phone. WTFITSGONE. dump out the purse. check every pocket. nope. so then i sat and pouted and talked to Matt about like... the most random shit.

then in fourth Sophia tells me that only like her and 6 other girls got their phones stolen today. so i get on the bus and i'm like OMGTELLMEYOUHAVEMYPHOOOOOONEBUSSLAVE. and she's just like "heh no." so i get home and Papi like flips and we call Verizon to get it turned off.

THEN like 2 seconds later some kid calls. and it's like

me: who is this?
kid: it's Jesse.
me: Jesseeeeee who?
Jesse: you don't know me. but i have your phone.
me: omigawd really?!!?
Jesse: yeah, i found it on the street corner. how old are you?
(so by then of course i'm like OMGWTF GIVE ME MY GABRIEL.)
me: uh.... 15.
Jesse: 15 huh? well someone deleted all your contacts... but i have your phone. so uh meet me tomorrow at 7.25. by the door of Nuts about Ice Cream.
me:omg thaaaaaank you soooooooo much i'll see you tomorrow!!

but ew wtf? one who deleted my contacts and why? two wtf does he want to know my age? (<-- CREEPY) and three WTF HOWD HE GET MY HOUSE NUMBER IF MY CONTACTS ARE GONE?!!?

so yeah.... that was the weirdest fucking thing. honestly. i'm just glad he wants to meet at Nuts by the doors cause that where people i know stand. unfortunately those people are bh and mh and max but hell if this kid is fucking weird i'm all up in that shit. "HEY BH REMEMBER ME?!?! WE WERE ALMOST LIKE FRIENDS SORT OF THAT ONE TIME! IM GOING TO HIDE BEHIND YOU NOW." hahaha. plus like if the guys really creepy i can just run over to Matt who always gets to school before me.

oh and me and Criss played in waterpaints all art class. ^-^ it was maaaaaad fun. haha we did some hot shits, son. ima 'bout to sell those master peices by the millions. -coughcough- IT'S ABSTRACT I SWEAR TO SID! lawlz.
6 | kamikazes won't freeze

cinderelly, cinderelly, night and day it's cinderelly! [28 Sep 2005|08:12pm]
[ mood | happy ]


plus i don't think i told you guys that i finally told mykal off. :D he touched my arse and i flipped because he's a disgusting freak and yeah. i hateSO STRONGLY DISLIKE him. =] and then he tried to all talk to me on monday and i like held up my hand and was like no. and he's like "why are you being such a jerk?" and i was like "because mykal... i don't like you. GO AWAY." and it was fun. ^-^

pppsssss: and also Criss stopped talking to Mykal. because he thinks he's a creep too. aaaaaaand he wants me to join ski club. (to snowboard, not ski) and i want too, but i'd feel bad. cause like he's really good at it. and if i joined and he stayed with me like he promised he would he wouldn't get to do anything. xD unless of course i'm not that horrible... which i doubt. but yeah. erhsfdhedfgs what should i do? cause i know ski club would also impress Papi. who ya know thinks I AM FREAKIN FRIENDLESS. and yeah. i totally don't like Criss. O_o;;; damnit!

4 | kamikazes won't freeze

everybody's happy now-a-days [28 Sep 2005|06:18pm]
[ mood | glockglock nucka. ]

i'll sit and wonder about every love that could have been if i'd only found something chraming to say.

soooo today i realize i'm late for missbitchpants class so i'm like 'fuck it, Kris, let's skip first.' and she's like ok. so we're on our way to Wawa for meeee and turns out bh, mh(haha. -pokes Jesikaah- that's hallway matt's new name just for you :P) max and some other shits are skipping too. and it ends up we're going up the street they're crossing at the same time. so as mh is going this way --> i'm going ^up^ but we're like a block away. so he just stops, stares for like 30 seconds and then goes so he doesn't fall behind?

yeah okay then, bud.

so yeah then i got a D Ten(woot... not.) and the next late is saturday d ten? aw hell naw.

then in bombardment i had a mental breakdown(yay paranoid personality disorder!) and started just like freaking out and chattering on and on randomly and playing violently with Angel's dog tags(i made them into a necklace =/ i miss her =[). and then i had this Math SAT thing and i totally freaked out and bombed. sweet.

after dten i walked to Kris's house and dyed her roots purple and Jess did Emo's like... frontish hair purple. and then i had to leave because i'm not allwoed to have TOO much fun.

and my face all broke out all over and i look like a shitball of crap. YES. I THOUGHT THAT STAGE OF MY LIFE WAS OVER. damn.

ps: i'm all in "no-i-dont-like-my-newest-best-friend-who-has-a-girlfriend denial" dag, yo.

kamikazes won't freeze

[26 Sep 2005|01:28pm]
[ mood | geeky ]

um um um. the Unicorns = luff. (punpunpunintendedlawlz)

right then. so uh yeah. i don't think he likes me anymore. -emo tears- WHATEV. i'm so over that. he's totally been like trying to grow a beard. i kind of died when i saw it. it actually aint half bad.

um yeah and bh totally turned into this giant asshole over the summer?! idk maybe now that he has a girlfriend he figures he can be as obnoxious as he wants? *std-teacher name goes here* wouldn't let him play because he didn't change so he spent 60 miunutes screaming about anything and everything that happened in the game.

like it was mattball and Landis(<--teacher man) decides that i have to kick because he's an asshole. and so i barely tap it and just start walking really slowly to the first mat and i totally fucking didn't get out. i stepped on the matt right before he threw the ball. it was pretty good. Skakakatitis(<--teacher lady) or whatever her name is was like "come on even you have to smile about that! that was cool." and bh is sitting on the bleachers going "OHMIGAWD!!! OOOOHHH! SHE JUST WALKED THERE!! OOOOOH!!! SHE WALKED AND STILL BEAT YOU!!!!!" only he was like that for every single thing that happened in the game.

and yeah. that was MY day. oh and also Criss put his hair in 3 pigtails in Art and i died. DIED.

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i honestly would slam my hand in a car door to shut you up [25 Sep 2005|06:24pm]
[ mood | indescribable ]

ok so how about i bought Atomic Pink sfx dye from Hot Topic. (yeah, they totally opened one here on Thursday. and we went friday and the mall was all like OMG NEOGAWTHORZZZZZZ! not to mention anything worth taking was locked behind glass?! WTFFF?! i hate them. growl snarl.)) and my dad tells me i'm not allowed to do my hair until i prove to him that i'm not lying about having friends. wtf is that? lmao.

YOU DON'T HAVE FRIENDS! NO HAPPINESS FOR YOU! i swear to sid, honeslty, the man is quite silly. -sigh- i should pretty much make a sign. i'm not sure what it would say but i'd make it really big and make sure everyone at liberty read it.

oh and Jesikah i'm finishing your prezzie up now. ^-^ weeeee!

and um yeah. it's really weird not having any guy to obsess over. my existance is pretty much meaningless. LAME. so basically i have interst in about 3 guys at liberty. 2/3 of which have girlfriends. one being a good friend of mine and the other an asshole? and then i don't even know about the 3rd.

oh yeah and i totally have the mother of all zits on my forehead. YAY LIFE!

oh no, what did i do? what did i do to deserve you? oh no, it's gone away. it's gone away but i want it to stay...

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get down girl, go 'head get down(she take my money, when i'm in need) [21 Sep 2005|06:54pm]
[ mood | accomplished ]

mwahaha. i'm actually thinking he likes me back?! -giddy- erm yeah. i got D Ten fer today(surprise, surprise i was late. -eye roll-) and i was standing around the 800s to try an waste some time. and i heard this voice right next to/behind me. and i was like "omg it sounds like him" and then i was like yeah right. and then Casey came up to me and we had to shuffle a bit so she wouldn't be in peoples way and i was able to see who was next to me and OMFG IT WAS HIM. and i died. ^-^ so yeah i'm all trying to get with that now. hah. i'm cool.

and that's like it. i love criss and tim. and um. i talked to matt this morning and we decided guys in s(m)andles are really just creepy. he's too cute. and i decided that annoying people are way annoying.

plus plus i finally told my mumsy that i don't like her. i was jsut like "i'm not angry at you like you think. i have no grudges against you. i just don't like you. at all." and i felt so much better. and she just like didn't care. hah. ill.

and me and Courtney made the only WORKING cable out of ALL of Jones' students. =DDD we made a cable. and it worked. we were like dumbstruck. it was hella tight. Jones said we get a prize... i'm kind of scared of that. haha.

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i've got a hunger twisting my stomach into knots that my tongue has tied off [20 Sep 2005|03:40pm]
[ mood | unforunately. ]

hey hardcore kiddies. what's good? i put two bobby pins in my hair and forgot they were there and screamed when i touched them and thought they were a bug.

and that's my fun fact for the day.

in gym i found all this shit just lying on the track so i made a bunch of jewelry. it was actually enjoyable. and then some creepy friend of Ben's was like "what's up bitch?" i told him if he ever said that again i'd cut off his cock and nail it to his fucking forehead. fucking bastard.

and my special friend wasn't where he usually is which was sad. but then i turned the corner and he was like 2 feet away from me and i freaked out and we just starred at each other. good times indeed. and someday i'll grow up and be a real boynot a pussy. wooo! i look forward to it.

and also also i found the most gorgeous pink flower on the ground. but then i had no one to give it to so it died. my life's so tragic. lololz. -eye roll-

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stay lady stay, stay while the night is still ahead [19 Sep 2005|04:50pm]
[ mood | curious ]

so i've been reading too far into *little* things lately/still/again? like how he won't look in my eyes when he's around his girlfriend. is he ashamed? is he ignoring me? is he sorry? or does not just not notice me as i walk by? and so he's just starring at my shoes without realizing it?

and then there's the other one. everytime we pass we have eye contact. and as he left the klein building i was entering. before class i went to the bathroom and when i came out he had somehow found himself walking the same way as before past me. and looking at me. coincidence? even though there is no way he got in the door at the end of the building. wtf? i'm so lost. haha.

despite those small things everythings... pretty ok. strangely enough. i enjoyed gym today. :D we played tennis and i just ran around smacking the ball as hard as i could against the wall. and i have a 89.9% in cisco. if not for the fact that it has to have been rounded mad lots already i would ask him to round it up. UPPPP DAMMIT. yeah.

help me find the middle? i don't want to dwell on the past and i don't want to fret about the future. i'm glad i have friends like Criss and Spiike and fucking a Niki Wilson to help :)

ps: pastor fucking GENERALASSWIPEBASTARDFUCKINGCUNTDOUCHECOMMANDER painted over PJ painting on the youth room wall. FUCKING PUKE ASS GREEN. i swear on bloody fucking John Genzale's grave i will never fucking respect that man ever. i mean how straight out SHADEY is that? not to mention inconsiderate, rude and flat out obnoxious. all the kids *LOVED* PJ. he was bloodyfucking ace. best bloke around the church. and now our last memory of him is GONE. hellz naw. Niki's gonna flip a bitch when she gets back.

speak of the devil i(erm, well the fam) got a postcard from Italy. i can't wait to that fool returns. oh and if you're wondering the 3 year old sunday school class is full of the msot adorable kids in the world. Ben and Anissa are like my new best friends.

kamikazes won't freeze

oh serena, i know what they're sayin' about you [16 Sep 2005|08:44pm]
[ mood | cold ]

i haven't heard this song in hella long. makes me think about BCS and all the shit that went down. everything. just everything that went wrong there. if i had gone to public school who would i be? obviously not myself. i wouldn't be so horrendously incapable of making friends. or at least that's what i'd like to think.

today was alright. didn't feel shitty until now. Criss told me he's leaving Liberty next year. my bloody arse he is. what's he gonna knock my friend count down to the negatives now?

re-touched the hair with Wildfire, it's all right. i'll post pictures if i can bleeding find my beastly camera.

i feel so shitty i haven't written Chelsea in weeks. but what the hell am i supposed to say by now? "hey, school started and i'm fucknig bipolar. i miss you like hell and max has been a bastard telling people you're on heroine. i want you to fucking come home. but you have about 5 more months. that sucks." yeah. that's inspirational ain't it? i've written and enveloped about 3 letters. tore all three up. fuck it.

me and my compulsive lying, feh.

kamikazes won't freeze

there's something in the way, mmm, yeah [21 Jan 2005|01:07am]
[ mood | ice cream! ]

RIP John Beverly <3

add, comment and be added.

peace, love and empathy.

13 | kamikazes won't freeze

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